St. Patrick’s Day Contest Entry: A Laughable Limerick

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Our first visit was our honeymoon /
and Ireland still makes us swoon /
we could stay for a while /
on that Emerald Isle /
we’ll tell you why in this little tune.

We rented a car for our route /
the man at the desk was astute: /
“for all of your junk /
“there’s a sizable trunk” /
“I’m f-ing Irish,” said she: “it’s a boot!”

At the pub, they will dance with finesse /
the musicians won’t fail to impress /
at this place, we could stay /
for the rest of the day /
as long as they refill the Guinness.

‘Bout the rain we would never complain /
‘long the coast and the hills and the lane /
we don’t mind it much /
it adds a nice touch /
the fresh, green beauty and life it sustains.

The hillside is dotted with white /
but up close you will smile at the sight /
they tumble and run /
‘neath the setting sun /
newborn lambs make the world much more bright.

‘Midst the ancient stone circles and dolmens /
there’s a history much older than Romans /
there is mystical lore /
that one might find a door /
to a new world if one follows the omens.

We’ll drive ’round the bright Ring of Kerry /
and up to old County Derry /
each place that we stop /
for a bite and a drop /
we’ll raise a pint to keep merry.

We decided to climb old Croagh Patrick
though neither of us is a Catholic
half way up to our shame /
we were passed by a dame /
who happened to be geriatric.

We will visit the old Blarney home
round the beautiful grounds, we will roam /
we’ll see everything there /
except climb the stairs /
screw putting our lips to that stone!

We’ll stay at a castle or abbey /
the hostess there may be flabby /
but her kindness is true /
with a brew and some stew /
our stay will be none too shabby.

When out at the pub for a beer /
on this point, we must be clear /
we are not derelicts /
when ordering Smithwicks /
we don’t say the “w” here!

Making the best of Irish Whiskey, /
is not easy as you think it would be /
“must be hotter than hell /
sweet as a kiss from your Belle”
said the elderly bartender to me.

That you’re Irish you’d better not claim /
less there’s 25 percent to your name /
while you love Eire the most /
you’ve got no ground to boast /
without true Irish blood in your veins.

I asked him would he have a spot o’ tea /
“no, I wouldn’t be a bother,” said he /
at first, he’ll resist /
so you’ll have to insist /
’tis the way of Irish hospitality.

If your hope is to get wealthy fast /
don’t be swayed by the red-headed lass /
for a big pot of gold /
you’ve surely been told /
you must grab hold that leprechauns … butt.

For our last here’s an anti-limerick /
where each verse will end with a limerick’ /
if you’ve liked our limericks /
then vote for our limericks /
and send us to dear County Limerick.”

Ireland is full of amazing literary history and culture, with poets such as Seamus Heaney and William Butler Yeats, it’s no wonder why many travelers come back from one of our Ireland Vacation Packages with limericks and poems on their mind! We take pride in our ability to tailor your trip specifically to your interests, so you can experience all the Ireland Activities you’ve dreamt of.

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