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Have you heard the one about an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman stranded on a small island? One day, they discovered an Arabian looking lamp in the sand. A genie appeared when they rubbed on it, granting a wish for each. Without thinking, the Englishman wished he was back in London and he was gone. The Scotsman wished he was back in Glasgow and he was gone, too. Feeling lonely and bored, the Irishman wished the two of them would be back on the island. Presto!

Do you know why Irish jokes are so simple? If not, the English wouldn’t understand them!

If you dig it, Irish humor is blunt, ticklish, and sometimes, profound. Irish jokes can be about a variety of subjects:


Dublin is one great heck of a city but why is every Tom, Dick, and Harry named Pat?


If you know that a tomato is a fruit, that’s knowledge. If you know not to put it in a fruit salad, that’s wisdom.


Visiting London, a Kerryman lost his way in the Tube around midnight. When he saw a sign “DOGS MUST BE CARRIED ON THE ESCALATOR”, he sighed, “How the heck am I going to find a dog at such a time?”


Upon seeing the corpse of an atheist, Paddy said in sorrow, “What a waste. All dolled up and no place to go.”


Not hitting anything at the firing range, Murphy declared that he’d never make a good soldier and he’d go shoot himself. The corporal replied, “Remember to take a lot of bullets.”

The Irish tend to see humor in almost everything. This is one of the reasons why there are so many successful Irish folks in the world. Imaginative, witty, and resilient, the Irish have contributed greatly in many fields such as the arts, science, business, architecture, sports, and others:

  • U2 is one of the biggest bands in the world.
  • Colin Farrell is one of the hottest actors in Hollywood.
  • Conan O’Brien is going to host “The Tonight Show” in June, 2009.
  • Irish writers and poets like Samuel Beckett, William Butler Yeats, and Seamus Heaney won the Nobel Prize for Literature.
  • “Boyle’s Law” was named after Robert Boyle.
  • George Best was Irish too.

Comprehensive sites that offer information on Irish literature, actors, music, history, and music include:

Have you heard the one about the three Irishmen who jumped to their deaths? One was “budgie-jumping”, another was “parrot-shooting”, and the last one was “hen-gliding”. Apparently, 30 workers in Leicester, England, were suspended for sharing this Irish joke. Now, better be prudent with the Irish jokes.

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